I know. It’s the buzz. Everyone is griping about TSA policies and procedures. Some people are outraged and some stand firm in their assertion that if it makes us safer than we should fall into line and shut up. I’m not going to get political about the conversation. I’ve had my dealings with the TSA more than once. I’ve been sent the nasty letter threatening to fine me because I didn’t want my 6 month old patted down at the Idaho airport. I’ve taken off my shoes, unloaded my laptop, watched them search my suitcases and had hair conditioner confiscated because it was half an ounce over the limit. It hasn’t deterred me from travel.
Recently, on the way back from a family gathering in Las Vegas, I was asked to step through the x-ray machine. I froze. I didn’t expect that it would give me pause and yet, in an instant I was devastated.
I realized I had to get naked. Not in front of everyone, but in front of someone. Someone I didn’t know. I mentioned to the TSA agent that I felt uncomfortable going through the machine. She had obviously been told to dissuade me from an extensive and time consuming pat down. She used words like ‘intrusive’ and ‘private parts’. She told me I would feel much less violated by the machine than the pat down. I was told it was the machine or the airport police. I felt powerless.
I could have held my ground. I could have refused, been greeted by airport security and have my name written down in the book of bad airport citizens. I could have left my sister standing on the other side of security, rented a car and driven the 4-1/2 hours home where my family was anxiously waiting.
I didn’t. I suspect most people don’t. We have planes to catch and lives to lead. It’s no excuse, but it is a reality.
As she instructed me to life my arms in the air, a tear swelled in my eye. I don’t want to be dramatic about it, but I felt violated. I didn’t think it would have that effect on me but I felt stripped of my basic right to privacy. I felt naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.
I don’t even really get all that naked for my husband, so it felt really raw to know that some random TSA agent was seeing all of me.
I collected my things, continued on towards the gate and wept silently. It was a disgusting feeling. It was a moment where my thoughts on being an American were led by negativity. I know I am not alone.
I don’t believe choosing between the lesser of two violations should be our way of life, but that’s just my American talking.
