I’ve been with my husband for 11 years. We have an open and honest dialogue between one another and he is my greatest champion. What I am about to tell you verges on the ridiculous.
This morning my dear husband was compelled to tell me (after 11 years) that he does not like baby powder deodorant. MY baby powder deodorant! Actually he said, “Babe, would you mind if I bought you a different deodorant?”
There is no response to this kind of question. After confirming that he was indeed serious, I smiled and politely agreed to replace the said offender, Suave Solid Baby Powder Scent.
I have to stop here and tell you that beyond my shock and disbelief that he was just now getting around to telling me that, to him, I’ve stunk for a decade, I was somewhat charmed by his blatant and obvious naivete. Did he really think that he could throw that into our marital hat without consequence? Was it his wild imagination that led him to believe that I’d be receptive to such a thought?
I know I may have acquiesced in the moment to avoid any bloodshed, but I hope there is an understanding that I am going to work this exchange into every little morsel of conversation and social activity that I can possible imagine until we are well into our seventies.
Some examples:
At our next dinner party when someone says, “Please pass the salt”, I could respond, “I would but apparently, I shouldn’t raise my arms.”
On car trips: “I’m sorry. I thought the cow smell would mask my odor.
On airplanes: “Maybe the middle seat will be empty so you can get a little extra room between you and my stank.
In grocery stores: I can hide my stench by hanging out in the diaper section.
During sex: “Would you care for a nose plug?
You get the picture. He’s toast and I love it!
There is a sad side to this story. I’ve been loyal to my baby powder deodorant for 20 years, long before marriage came along.
To Suave Solid Baby Powder: Farewell my dear friend. We have been together over 8000 days. I will never forget you. They say love is blind but it’s olfactory senses are powerful.
MORAL. STORY. If you can wait 11 years to get something off your chest, you might want to consider going for the 20 year mark.
Disclaimer: To my dear husband, I am just poking fun because you made it so easy ; ) Now if you casually mention that you do not like brunettes, we might have a problem! xoxo
Question: What would you give up for your partner?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
okay, this is just too funny! i can totally see my husband after all these years of passive agressive behavior now telling me something just like this. lol !!! i love suave baby powder, it’s my brand. i don’t think i could part with it…
see you soon
Love it! I really don’t know that there’s much else to say. You articulate the ridiculous so well.
I’ve been with my husband almost 18 years…I am curious as if he’s waiting for the 20 year mark for something now!
{ 2 trackbacks }